Nuts & Bolts
by accidental-thumbs
Summary: A horribly written Fallout 4 crack fic. I am so sorry.
1. Chapter 1

Nick was sittin at his desk doing detecive thing when suddenly the ugly mercenary walked in.

"MacCready wat r u doin here?" he asked inquisitively.

"Hello u fukin synth" Mccredy said rudely.

"Wat hte fruk do u want u lil shit?"

"I ned a detectiv but ur a dam synth so idk if ur cute for te job," he sad, showin of how he was a fickin institute cock suker racist.

"Stfu u lil birch i m the best detective in he comonwelth," said nick bc he was cleerly bettr then macredy.

"No ur not ther r bettr ons"

"Name 1" challenged Nick

"Okey I donut kno thwm but they r out ther"

"Uh huh thts wat I thot"

"Shut up u synth u don't even have a dik" sadi mcrady.

"Do to u fukin lier!" Nick says apealed.

"No dick Nick, no dick nick" macedy sang tauntingly.

"Nuh uh thats not Tru," nick cryd.

"Oh yea prov it u bucket a bolts."

"Okey doley I will ten" said Nick and he puLED HIS PANTS DOWN IN FRON OF MACRADY reveling his giANT DONG.

"Oh my golly that's a peepo" macredy says flaberghastd.

"Yeah I told u so" he said but macreds kept starring at it "well wat r u lookn at."

"It...its hugnormus" macreedies said agape "I hav nevr seen one like it"

"Yah the institite knows what they r doin" valentine says proud of his huge dingaling "wat do u liek it or sumfin"

"No of cors not I would never u ugly burnt toaster," said the big macrid.

"Hey ur not exacty winnig any beuty pagants urself ya kno"

"Stfu"

"well wat abut u" the synth detecice said.

"Wat u men"

"U see mine now waht abot urs?"

"Wat no I cant urs is too big" macreds sighed sadyl.

"So?"

"So min does not compare"

"Idc"

Macaroon slowly slow hesitantly pulled down his pant to revel a slightly below average peener "see I told u I cant compete wif urs"

"I tink it looks fine" said mr valentins

"Rally? Do you mena it?" Macreeds blushed. He hid behind meen words but deep down he actully thught Nick was the bees knees.

"Yah"

Suddenlu, the former mayor of a shithole klssed Nick on the lips and pulled away "omg Nick I am so sry ididnt men to do dat"

"No no it's okay" said Nick sitting down "come sit on st nicks lap creedsie weedsie and tell me what ou want for chrismas"

"Okie" he said and sat down on his lap Then he wispered naughtilt into his ear "all I want fir xmas is ur gigantimous robot peeper in my pooper"

And then Nick kissed Macred and they frICKED the end


	2. Chapter 2

It had been 1 wk since Valentin and Macaroni n cheese had co fessed there luv 4 each oder n now they were gettin marryd

"Nikkie poo I m so glad we r gettin marryed" said McDonalds

"Me 2 bab" said Nikkie poo, "u lok so pretty in ur dress" the dress was actuly jus cardbord boxs glued 2gethr over Big Mac n it was beutiful

"Aww thx bby" mac says "but ur not sposed to see the bride b4 da weding"

"Oh ok I will go" Nick said n then he left bc that shit is bad luk

Hte wedding was in Dimond City cuz that is were Nick live n also ther were no raiders. Mayer Mcconaughey had ordered all da residents of Dimond City to built a chapel jus 4 hte occajun so that was were they was gettin marryd.

Every1 in da hole waseland had comed to da weding. Nick and his bb couldnt hav been happyer. Nick stand at da alter in his fancy shcmancy suit and watchwd as Macridalidaloo walked down hte isle in his "dress". He got 2 da alter besied Nicky and they sayd ther vows.

"Mcred do u take Nikkie poo to b ur awfully weeded husban?"

"I do"

"Mr valentins do u take Macintosh to b ur awfully wedded husband"

"I do" said Nic v happly

"NO HE DOES NOT!" boomed a voice in the chapelle. It was...FATHER?!

"Omg dadther what r u doin here ur not invited?" asked Nick

"Uh bab who is dat?" axed McCredy?

"Umm he is da leader of the institite...and my dad..."

"N I SAY U CNT GET MARRYD BC UR A SYNTH N SYNTHS CANT GET MARRYD"

"Ug dad stop it the 23rd century..."

"Exuse me mr nicks dad but I luv him so can we get marrid pls said Mac

"No sry he cn't get marred cuz he is a fukin synth" sayd father

"SHAWN U LIL SHIT WTF DO U TINK UR DOIN!" yelled a voice who was hte sole survive

"Omg mom shutup ur embarrass me" sayed father/shawn

"Wtf?" macrd n nick both say

"YUNG MAN U R COMIN HOME I WENT 200 YRS FOR U?" n sole draged dad out of hte chapel yellin at him wile every1 cheered.

"NICK U SHULD KISS HIM" yells some1 in the crowd and he did and then they frICKED AGAIN the end 3


End file.
